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View Full Version : this is wrong...but why?



vocoderboy
06-08-2015, 03:39 PM
https://soundcloud.com/vocoderboy/sea-monster


what is wrong with this?

Osmose
06-08-2015, 11:07 PM
i think it might be the chosen main melody? That rhode type thingy. In combination with the drum pattern it sounds a bit mediocre to me, if i can completely honest.
A low dark reece bass might fit nice as well. I do think that really could get something cool with that drum pattern though.

The guitars at the end sound a bit out of tune on these speakers as well, but that could've been something you went for?

vocoderboy
06-08-2015, 11:26 PM
thank you man i knew it was the drums and lack of actual melodic content.

i'm getting really pissed at my drums at the moment they just seem to sound like nothing.

i think i may just start leaving them out

Osmose
06-09-2015, 11:56 AM
Well, actually i didnt mind the drums. Its the combination of both. The drums are weird and experimental but i dont think their bad. Its just that with that pattern you really need to find something thats suits it which is gonna be harder then a 1,4,5 kick, kick, snare pattern.
I found them to be rather "score" like and think you can really do something with it ;)

One thing that might work as well is lower the sidechain on that fifth type synth halftime to give it a halftime contrast, so youll get a fast pace drum pattern in conjunction with the slower paced synth sidechain wich will give it some anticipation.

Maybe a slower underlying dark melody will work well?


The drums remind me of old "aes dana's" tracks, maybe worth checking out. I think the album "leylines" has some similar stuff going on. Maybe worth checking out ;)

Runcell
06-12-2015, 12:19 AM
Like Osmose I think the drums are alright, there's a lot of reverb on them which will sit them back (less upfront) in the mix.. The bit that sticks out most is the guitar section. Not sure if it's the pads/chords or the guitar, but something's not sitting in tune. The guitar may be a bit too loud also.

I think you just need to do a little more work on that section and it's a done deal.. finito. Cheers

vocoderboy
06-12-2015, 01:49 PM
thanks man, i'm gonna let it sit for a bit then go back to it in a few weeks see if i still wanna move forward with it or break it down for other things

Matt
06-12-2015, 03:25 PM
I listened to it and if I may.....some things I hear are in the Mix and Song Arrangement.

The song does not have enough movement as in things seem to be running stagnate not really leading to anything or a main chorus and growing in a timely fashion. It's a long song and I understand how the growth and build can be but this brings to mind that we still need movement and growth from part to part.... bridges, breaks and notes with in your main melody are the key. Also in a longer song we tend to lay back and just let the verse ride and build on it layering without movement.

As for the Mix there is not enough definition between all the parts. Most often in Mixes the bass frequencies are very dominate and I hear this in your mix.

I like the hook in this song and also that you are humble enough to post a thread like this, it's stuff like this that helps us learn...cheers to you!

Runcell
06-12-2015, 06:12 PM
Great feedback there Matt.. I'm always a little reluctant commenting on mixes as it's so subjective, But I do think the amount of reverb on the whole drum mix could be blurring things a bit.

Maybe split the kick drum to its own channel and have that dry, Or have a parallel drum channel with the reverb on that you can fade in/out at will.. But Keep at it mate :)

vocoderboy
06-12-2015, 08:57 PM
Great feedback there Matt...

Maybe split the kick drum to its own channel and have that dry, Or have a parallel drum channel with the reverb on that you can fade in/out at will.. But Keep at it mate :)

there is also the fact that this one has risen to over a sensible amount of tracks, i think i maybe coming over 20 tracks where as i nominally stick closer to under 15.
the whole thing about stagnating is a valid response it starts nowhere and takes too long to stay there.
i think what it has taught me is its fine to make long pieces but there must be some sort of evolution and contrast to keep the ear interested also its cool to have different flavours but just jamming them thru the speakers at the same time leaves everything flavourless.
i think what i will do is take the best elements of this track ( i really liked some of the simple synths i made) and put them to better use elsewhere.

also be wary of the stereo imager it can really add a really weird hissy sound over reverb.